A Public Apology to a Girl I Know

I saw a pack of crayons on a breakfast table. I wanted to take them all, something felt wrong about throwing them away. I kept one — the blue one — because it felt like I was keeping a part of you.

I’m sorry I tried to change you. for making you bite-sized, easily palatable. You trusted me to take care of you and I didn’t carry that trust as I should have. I’ve been punishing you unfairly. I know you’re confused. You feel unrecognizable. But I carry you with me every day. You’re a stegosaurus. The ocean. A cool rock!

I see you in everything fun. Everything alive.

I know you’re always with me. Every day I find myself wanting to look more and more like you. Be more like you. I’m proud to look like you, and of who you are. I’m seeing what you’re becoming with a birdwatcher’s gaze. I promise I won’t disturb you.